Only You
by FanFic1324
Summary: In a moment of rage, Katniss blurts out the one thing Peeta wants to hear. The journey between 'His arms are there to comfort me' & 'And eventually his lips'. Canon Post-MJ one-shot. Inspired by 'The Road to Recovery'.


**Only You**

**AN: My first canon one-shot. This is my first fic ever when it comes to canon story, so I hope it doesn't look very, well un-canon-y. Is that even a word? But you guys get what I am trying to say right?**

**MOST IMPORTANTLY, this fic is totally inspired from my favorite Post-MJ story 'The Road to Recovery' by Jamie Sommers. No, literally. I was reading it and one particular sentence from chapter six lead to this one-shot. To all the people who might have a problem with me getting "inspiration" from RtR, please don't start throwing stones at me just yet because I have Jamie's permission to post this fic. Of course you are totally free to throw stones at me after you read it and not like it.**

**A big thanks to Naverra for beta reading this fic for me and helping me improve my writing and just being her-amazing, supporting-self. **

**Now, I am gonna shut up and let you guys read.**

Life starts to grow back in District 12. People start a new life on the rubles of the decrepit district.

I start to find my way back to the world. I won't ever get past my sister's death, that is an unquestionable fact. This is a grief that knows no mercy. But when I see Peeta planting the Primrose bushes, I feel a flicker of some kind of hope inside of me; just like the Dandelion that fed my family. I eventually learn that I have no choice but to live, for Prim's sake. At first it seems impossible, the last thing I am capable of. Peeta is the only one who can help me with it.

We grow back together. It doesn't happen overnight. It starts with him baking for me, me helping him through his flashbacks, him comforting me through my nightmares, merely being in each others presence brings a comfort that only intimate familiarity and knowledge we'd die for the other can bring.

Almost every night I wake up screaming and his arms are there to comfort me. But that's it. He never kisses me and I realize how much I want him to, how much I need him to. Of course I don't admit it out loud. I don't know what else I want but I surely want this.

It frustrates me every time to think about it. Doesn't he want me anymore? Did he stop loving me? It wouldn't surprise me, the capital programmed him to despise me. Then why is he here? Just to be my friend? That alone is remarkable, I keep telling myself. And it is selfish to want his love when I have no idea if I can return it, and all I am certain I want is the physical comfort it would bring.

But even through all the problems, we live our lives; Me, Peeta and Haymitch. I hunt, Peeta bakes and Haymitch drinks and raises geese. This is our life now.

Like every other day, I wake up only to find Peeta gone but today something is different. I can smell the fresh bread that's being baked in my kitchen. Peeta always bakes at his house. I walk downstairs to find him working intently at the kitchen counter. His blonde locks are mussed from sleep. The sleeves of his dark blue sweater are pushed up to his elbows, his apron is dusted with flour and he is busy kneading the batch of dough that's in front of him; his biceps bunching with each stroke of his hands.

"Good morning Katniss" he says without even looking up; this as always, frustrates me. I am always stealthy but he can always tell when I am around, these days. It's as though he feels my presence wherever I am, part of his new wiring, prepared to attack.

"Why are you baking here?" I say a bit icily. I always snap at Peeta these days. It's like I can't control it, everything he does irks me.

"Well, it's more convenient." That's all he says. I nod and head back upstairs.  
I walk into the bathroom and see all of his toiletries placed next to mine. I finger his toothbrush idly. So intimate that he sleeps by my side, that we brush our teeth together, that he seems to live with me here now, but yet he seems incapable of loving me anymore. It's warming to know he's settled but it leaves a lingering sadness I can't shake.

I open my closet after I shower only to be disappointed. I was hoping to find his clothes in it but they weren't there. Dwelling on this was only hurting me, I need to get out of this house.

I put on my hunting clothes and go downstairs to pick up my hunting gear. I hear Peeta's "Be safe" as I close the door behind me. He says it everyday, and I hate to hear the tightness in his voice. It's as if we were splitting up in the arena. And the wire and the trackers and Joanna is on top of me and...

Today I want to go to the lake; I need that peace. At the lake I am just more frustrated as I remember the time I brought Peeta here….

It was a couple of weeks after he started staying with me at night. Peeta wanted to see the lake and I reluctantly agreed to take him with me. But in the back of my mind I knew I was glad that I could show him this part of my life. We got here early enough to see the sun rising quietly from behind the trees. It was odd, when I saw Peeta in this place. He seemed like a part of it and I wasn't expecting that. When he came out of the water and the sunlight was bouncing off of his wet form, I saw the glimpse of the boy that he was before he was hijacked. I think he saw that too. I saw a fire ignite in his cobalt eyes as he walked over to me and engulfed me in his strong arms. It felt different than it felt every night; those hugs were just for comfort but this one wasn't. His forehead rested on mine, his breathing was thick, the hunger I had only ever felt for him was stirring. It was at that time that I realized how much I wanted him to kiss me because that's what I thought he was going to do and because I was hurt when he didn't.

I know it is selfish of me to expect anything from him after everything I have done, especially when even I don't know what I want from him. I can't even think about what I am going to do the next day, let alone the rest of my life. I know that I love Peeta but what about the future? I can't get myself to face that.

I don't want to stay at the lake a second longer so I start to walk back to the village.

I get back before lunch- with a rabbit and some fish for dinner- only to find the house empty. I walk over to his house and knock on his door. He answers it after a couple of minutes covered in paint; shades of orange and blue and green.

"Katniss? Come on in" he says. "What are you doing here?" he closes the door behind him.

"I thought you would be at my house" I say.

"Ahhh…Katniss I was painting, I'll just clean up and come with you" he says and walks towards the kitchen sink to wash off the paint. "When you didn't come back for breakfast I thought you were at the lake and that you would be back late."

"I didn't go to the lake" I lie. Why should I let him know? He knows me too well as it is. "Anyway, you don't have to come to my house. I am going to Haymitch's anyway" I say coolly, walking out of his house.

I walk into Haymitch's house and am greeted by the stench of alcohol. I am thinking of turning around and going back when Haymitch walks out of the kitchen. "Well hello there, to what do I own this pleasure?" He says.

"Nothing" I say grumpily as he gives me a once-over.

"Oh. What sweet thing did the poor boy do for you this time, sweetheart?" he says as he sits on the couch and places his feet on the table.

He knows I come here every time Peeta does something nice or not so nice. The last time I came here and also got a little drunk was when I saw Peeta talk to Delly and hug her goodbye. I never tell Haymitch the reasons behind my visits but he seems to know anyway.

"None of your business" I snap but I sit down next to him regardless.

"Hmmm… You know sweetheart, when I first bought the geese, I was planning on eating them; like nicely pan fried or maybe roasted." I raise my brows at him. "My point is, that I wanted to kill them but when I saw those small little bastards running around my back yard I couldn't get myself to eat them. So I started raising them, feeding them but I always left their food on the ground. Now, one day I saw Sae's granddaughter feeding them from her hand and that irritated me. I fed them every day and they wouldn't even come close to me. So I started sitting on the back porch while they ate, still nothing. Then I realized that if I wanted them to eat from my hand I would have to go to them and I did. And guess what? They ate all the corn from my hand right away" he says.

"So you think that if I want something from Peeta then I should be the one to do something about it?" I ask.

"Oh I just told you a story that was in my mind, whoever told you to come to those conclusions sweetheart?" he says with a bloody smirk on his face.

I scowl, knowing he was enjoying every second. But I stayed for a while, begrudgingly enjoying his company and scolding him softly for the state of his house. He got me to feed the geese while he showered and dressed in clean clothes, and I did a bowl of washing up for good measure.

When I eventually get back home, I see Peeta cooking. He raises his eyebrows at me and at first I don't understand why but when I get close and see the pan fried fish, I realize he must have caught my lie about not going to the lake. I don't bother to reply and he doesn't ask further questions. He knows me well enough to know it'll be something stupid like my pride.

We eat in silence and Peeta leaves promising to come back in the evening to make rabbit stew for dinner. I'm left leafing through my father's book, tracing his loopy, cursive writing with my fingers, wondering if he had found Prim, wherever they are. I tend to the primroses, probably over watering them out of lack of knowledge and over eagerness for them to grow, and cut a few strands to place in a vase on the table.

Peeta comes back around dusk and starts making the stew and bread; though I don't understand why. He usually makes bread in the morning. I stay out of his way, rinsing sap and dirt out from under my nails. When I get back inside I see him place a hot tray of freshly baked cheese buns on the counter. I can't help but smile. "You made cheese buns?" I ask as I walk towards him.

"Yes, well you didn't really seem in the best of your moods…so I thought, I could make you these" he says. It was rare when I heard Peeta talk this way these days.

Impulsively, I step forward and hug him. I feel my heath sink when he doesn't hug me back; he must have thought that I was really mad, which I didn't have a real reason for. That's when Haymitch's words come back to me. I have to be the one to do something about my problems. I pull back a little, enough to look into his cautious blue eyes. I can feel my heart beat quicken as I lean in but I change my mind and place my lips on his cheek. "Thank you" I tell him, still clinging on to him, not wanting to let go. I sigh and curse myself internally; I could have kissed him but my stupid ego wouldn't let me.

Peeta finally moves and wraps me in his arms, burying his face in my hair. The place where his hands are on my back feels a lot warmer than the rest of my body. "You're very welcome Katniss" he sighs and a shiver runs down my spine. He hugs me closer to him and I realize he must have felt me shudder.

I step back and he lets me go, which hurts me a little, again. I am about to open my mouth to say something when we hear the knock on the door. I open the door and see Greasy Sae's granddaughter standing on the porch.

"Hi Katniss, Peeta said I should come by at night because he was gonna make stew and cheese buns" she beams.

We all have dinner together and listen to her happily chirp about how she found a mouse in her house that is now her pet. Peeta is so good with her, so naturally like his father, always welcoming and tolerant, with the gentlest of voices and sweetest of smiles. My stomach flips. Shit.

She leaves after saying "Thank you" sweetly to me, and hugging Peeta tightly.  
Though she left, Peeta stands at the door, his hand on the door knob. "I should get going then. I'll be back for bed" he says.

"Peeta I…"I begin but I am cut off by the sound of the telephone.

I walk towards the telephone with Peeta close behind me; we hardly ever get calls. I pick the phone to the sound of my mother. "Katniss?" she says.

"Mom, what happened?" I ask her-she doesn't usually call.

"Everything's fine Katniss, I just wanted to tell you something."

I hang up a couple of minutes later. "What did she say?" Peeta asks anxiously.

"She said…ummm…she said that Annie gave birth to a baby boy!" I exclaim.

"Oh my god, that is such a great news. Did you talk to Annie?" he asks.

"No my mom said that we should call tomorrow because Annie was a little weak" I say.

"Okay. I bet he looks just as good as his father. I am so happy for her" he says with a new glint in his eyes.

"It's good to know that he'll have a safe life" I say.

"Yes it is. Ummm…I should get going" he says as he turns around and walks towards the door. He halts abruptly at the door and turns to face me.

"Would you do it Katniss, have kids one day?" he asks with hundreds of emotions floating in his eyes.

"No Peeta, I wouldn't."

"I would…someday. I didn't want to, before. Now it's different. It's safe" he says.

"I don't think I have enough strength to bring a child into this world. Not after all that I have seen" I reply.

"That's alright Katniss, I'm sure your husband would be happy just living his life with you and you alone." He leans down and presses his lips against my forehead. "Just you" he sighs and it makes me catch my breath.

He suddenly pulls back and says "Good night Katniss" and walks out the door.

I stand there staring at the door, trying to get my emotions in place. Joy. Fear. Hurt. And finally Anger. How dare he say that?

I run towards his house, to find him walking up the steps on his porch.

"Peeta!" I snarl from behind him and then walk ahead to block his way to the door.

"Katniss?" he says, confused. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

"No, nothing's alright and it's all because of you! How could you say that?"

"What did I say Katniss? You were fine a minute ago, I don't understand what I did?" he says.

"What you did? It's what you have been doing all this while!" I feel the rage pulsing through me and I burst out. "I get it, okay? You don't love me anymore. Fine. But how dare you say all those things. You know, I can't bear to think about my future and you wanna say things about kids and marriage and husbands? You say that, my husband would be happy to get to live his life with me? Like I even want to think about marriage now! And even if I do, you say it like _he_ is some third person in this situation. You don't want me to be your wife? Okay, fine." I say throwing my hands in the air. "You don't even want to kiss me anymore? Fine. But you and I both know that the only person in this world who can be my husband is you! Only you..."

Peeta's lips come crashing down on mine, stopping me mid sentence. He pushes me backwards- without breaking the kiss- so that my back is pressed against the door. He takes my face in his hand and pulls away only an inch giving us a second to catch our breath.

"Pe..." I try to say his name at the same time he snarls "Katniss" and his lips descend on mine once again. I bring my hand to his chest trying to push him away-his intensity frightens me- but his hands move from my face and his long fingers circle my wrists and bring my hands to the side of my head. All this while his relentless lips stay on mine. He tugs on my lower lip with his teeth and it makes me shudder. He lets out a low growl which makes me cave in. He kisses me until we both become breathless, even then his lips do not leave my skin. He trails kisses along the side of my cheek and stops at my left ear.

"You thought I don't love you anymore?" he says and then pulls back to look at my face. I see the storm brewing in his eyes and it leaves my mouth dry, so I just nod. "Katniss!" he growls throatily before kissing me again. His entire body is pressed against mine and I wrap my arms around his neck to bring him even closer. The only sound I can hear is of my heart trumping in my chest.

His kisses turn from urgent and intense to soft and gentle. He places a hand under my chin and lifts my head up and places his forehead on mine. "Katniss you are the only one I have ever loved and you will be the only one I love for the rest of my life. I could never stop" he almost grins. "And I think I answered your question of me not wanting to kiss you." We both laugh still a little breathless. "Come on, I'll show you something." He pulls me inside his house and then upstairs to his studio.

The first thing I see when I walk into Peeta's studio is; me. Painting's of me, everywhere; me sitting on the kitchen counter, me looking at the primrose bushes planted in front of my house, me just walking in the Victors Village.

All this is a proof of how much he still loves me. The Capitol practically programmed him to hate me and yet here he was, still devoted to me. How could he love me so much? All this while I thought that he was over me, am I really that blind?

My eyes fall on the painting that is right in front of me. I immediately know that it was painted today because it has all the colors in it that Peeta was covered in, this morning. It is different from the other paintings in this room as it is the only one that has someone other than me in it; Peeta. It is a painting of us, near the lake, with the sun setting in the background, making the droplets of water on our body-glisten; and Peeta is kissing me in it. A shiver runs down my spine when I see it. Even though it's a painting, I can feel that gentle kiss.

Peeta comes up behind me, snakes his hands around my waist and presses his warm lips on my neck. I lean back into his arms. "Katniss, I wanted to kiss you since the time I found out what kissing meant" he breaths.

His words make me shudder and he tightens his arms around me. "You're cold; I'll get you a blanket" he says and tries to back away but I wrap my hands over his and pull him closer.

"No, don't go. Just stay with me" I say.

"Always."

**AN: Am I in the clear or do I need to go hide from all the stones coming my way? Also, did you get what I took from chapter six of RtR? Let me know in the reviews!**

**I really hope you liked this one-shot and if you did then you should really go over and read RtR because that is like 1000 times better than this! **

**Review and let me know what you think about this and whether I should write more canon stuff. **


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